Monday, June 06, 2005
so...dey found out d truth in d end dat i was drinkin...so wadever...
mom talk me out...i promised her not to drink again...i don wan talk much 2 her...
because i don bother...put all blame on me....i don care...i don bother..i wont...u can kill me in d streets...i don care...juz leave me dead dere lying n rottin...i don care...coz my soul is aready out of d body...n dats wad im waitin 4...
seriously...i don understan y dey don let me drink...u can say its haram...but smokin is haram...my dad smoke...he knows its haram...y he nvr bother 2 stop?nvr even bother to ever try?
n i don drink 4 fun...dats not me...i don do stupid tings 4 no reason...
i drink because 2 release all d pressure i gt...in skool n at hme..almost everywhere...parents expectin me 2 listen 2 dem in everything which cant b possible..n wont hear me out 4 d reasons..having a lot hmk...mom naggin everyday 2 do housework...i cant gt 2 do wad i want at hme...so many in my head...i think if u r in my shoes,ud probably have banged ur head against d wall so many times n hopin dat u r mentally disabelled,retarded sufferin from concussion...
but wadever..since ive promised dat i wont drink again den so be it...how do i cope wit all d pressure?i dono...god noes...mayb go back 2 cuttin myself,burnin myself...wadever possible ways of me gettin hurt....coz i know...me gettin hurt,dey will love it...n mayb ine day wen dey realise i gt a lot scars,den dey will at least listen 2 me...geez...wish im dead...
fro, wad i think, sooner or later i will jump down from a high building...
& van_inariahkh signed off @ 5:49 PM